I watched the new Conan movie yesterday, the one with the guy from TV shows Stargate Atlantis and Game Of Thrones (Jason Momoa). Having grown up seeing Schwartzy in the original movies I was a bit skeptical but to be honest I think Jason worked ok as Conan.  Arnold was never that great as an actor but eating far too much chicken and living in a Gym most of his adult life definitely sold him as a muscle-bound barbarian. While Jason isn’t quite as bulky he is big enough to make his upbringing and slightly feral background believable….if a little weird seeing him without a beard!

The story centers around a bad guy trying to collect pieces of a spooky mask which was shattered by barbarian tribes and each one took a piece and hid it away. He then wants to capture the last of an ancient bloodline and use her body to resurrect his burned at the stake, sorceress wife. The movie begins with Conan being born near the end of a bloody battle, the scene of his dying mother demanding to see her child is suitably brutal as the father (Ron Perlman) cuts Conan from her womb.

While the costumes and setting feel like Conan, it drifts from scene to scene without much impact from any one part, I found the attraction and subsequent love scene between Conan and the recently rescued priestess to be a little contrived and they shared little dialogue or moments of a relationship that would appear to have suggested such feeling.

Likewise the insertion of the thief into the storyline as a friend of Conans didn’t really work for me, it seemed, again forced and they had little dialogue before he was called upon to repay his life debt to Conan….we’re talking a thief here, a character with low moral standards feeling honor bound to help a guy he spent 2 minutes talking to earlier in the movie. I think it could have used some promise of riches or payment to help that idea along.

Also the very end seemed a little rushed, what happened after the final battle was almost a footnote in the script which seemed to just want to get it over with and roll credits. I think I prefered the older Arnold movies to be honest, even with his acting limits Arnold seemed to have a rapport with his companions that sold the relationships. The new movie, like so many remakes, lacked the character of the original and when compared, feels inferior.

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