Theme Hospital is available on GoG, it’s an old…old strategy/management game about planning the layout of your hospital, treating patients, researching cures and hiring and maintaining a happy staff. When I describe it like that, it sounds rather tedious, what really makes it shine is the variety of made up illnesses and humor.  If you’re suffering from Slack Tongue, Inflated Head, Elvis Syndrome or simply have the squits, there is a place for you in Theme Hospital. The light-hearted appeal extends to the look of the game in all aspects from the pastel colours of the rooms, animations of patients or staff, to the amusing tannoy announcer who occasionally drops one liners over the game play.

There are bonus levels where you can shotgun rats out of an infested hospital, emergency cases where choppers land on your helipad with a number of patients that desperately need treatment before they die, research your equipment or undiagnosed patients to discover new illnesses and even strategically place plants and radiators to keep everyone happy. Just be sure to hire handymen to water your plants, fix your machines and sweep up the crap those annoying ill people keep dropping. You can even train up new doctors and teach them to be psychiatrists, surgeons or researchers, just remember to pay them well to keep them happy!

There is a solitary ugly bug, strangely one I remember when I had this game new many years ago. Placing a patient bench near a door can sometimes lock the door and trap people in or out of the room for the duration of the map/level. Due to the games age, it’s unlikely to ever be fixed so it’s the only thing you really have to be careful of. It’s showing it’s age a bit but it’s quality still shines through, if you have a few pounds/dollars and want something a bit different in the management genre of games, you really can’t go wrong with this one.

One final tip for any budding hospital managers, mouse over the top edge of the screen, there is a drop down menu there which allows you to save your game and adjust the games speed, both vitally important on your way to global healthcare domination!

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